It has been a long time

It has been a long time since I posted anything. I am not sure why, but I think it has something to do with the hard work I've been doing.

When I say hard work, I'm not necessarily referring to my paid position, but the reflection going on in my head. It's hard for me to write when you don't feel confident on what you would state. Don't get me wrong, I've had lots of ideas that I started to turn into real thoughts, but then I would get tired and the thought would pitter out; or the weather would turn to 80 degrees and I would spend time outside; or I guess I just would slow myself down to ponder and not find the time to complete any one idea, and turn it into something I felt comfortable sharing in perpetuity.

Maybe you are wondering what is he talking about? Well, in the fall of 2011 I was challenged by the UPMC staff to 'reinvent Matthew' and I've been working on it. It's the hardest thing I've ever done because no one can say when you are successful. I can slow down, take one day at a time, smell the roses, worry about myself, pick a different saying and feel good. Or I can do some really important work, and feel good. I may only work part a day, but if its a yucky subject I can come home miserable and start to feel bad. I can find tons of enjoyment from my children at a swim meet or bball game, and they can drive me nuts later the same day.

What I'm trying to say is that I'm attempting to identify a rhythmic beat to my life that works more than one that doesn't. And that is only done by trial and error with success determined by how one (and who) evaluates your life. Each day is a new one and I'm still working to figure out they rhythm that works.